Going to add a maybe controversial thing but:

Women who are attracted to men but also don't like penetrative sex - and I'm definitely + explicitly + it's very much the point including vaginal penetrative sex here - are also perfectly within their rights to have that boundary and to have it respected.

Straight or bisexual women, cis or trans women, doesn't matter - I feel like womanhood is often equated with enjoying penetration. But it's not. Your identity doesn't dictate what you like sexually. And what you like sexually doesn't dictate your identity.

And I think especially for women who are attracted to men, enjoying penetrative sex is considered such a must that many of us don't even question it - to the point that a) not wanting it is considered a medical issue by itself and b) with many medical complications or conditions or even psychological reasons that someone might find vaginal penetration painful, the first concern is often not even to fix the underlying issue or even to make that kind of sex pleasurable - but to make her "functional" for her partner again. (Prized example: The husband-stitch. Generally, I hear so often from women whose partners got impatient with their recovery after they gave birth and who felt pressured to have vaginal sex before they felt like it.)

So I just want to say:

Womanhood does not equal enjoying penetration.

Being AFAB doesn't equal enjoying penetration.

Being attracted to men doesn't equal enjoying penetration.

What you enjoy sexually is not a matter of your identity. It's only a matter of what you enjoy and what you and your partner(s) genuinely want to do.

And actually, yes, this specifically goes out to heterosexual cis women in particular: Even if you never ever ever want to have vaginal penetrative sex - that's perfectly fine. You are perfectly within your rights to have that boundary. And no man has any right to force you. And calling you "uptight" or "vanilla" or "weird" or "but you own a dildo" or "It'll be good with me, I swear!" - that's a way of forcing you. He has two options a) accept your boundary and find a different way to have sex b) accept your boundary and go home.

If there is an underlying medical issue like cysts or if you have vaginismus that diminishes your quality of life - of course I recommend seeing a doctor. And if you have experienced trauma, I recommend therapy. All of which should be focussed on helping you with the things that you deem important - and not what your partner or a potential partner deems important.

But if you simply just don't want to have penetrative sex - then don't. Nothing is wrong with you. No one has any right to force you.

We often say "don't do anal if you don't want to", "don't do oral if you don't want to" - and those are very, very true! But I feel like we don't say "don't do vaginal if you don't want to" or "don't have penetrative sex at all if you don't want to" often enough to women - because it's such an expectation that everyone would enjoy it.

And also, you don't owe anyone an explanation. Sometimes, trauma is a reason - but if you have experienced trauma, you're not obligated to tell your partner the details of it to justify not wanting to have that kind of sex. "No" is a full sentence. Sometimes the fear of pregnancy or contraception failing is a reason - and that's also to be respected.

And if you don't have any reason related to trauma or a medical condition - you're still perfectly within your rights to have that boundary respected. Sex is supposed to feel good for both partners involved. And any partner who doesn't care about your boundaries or pressures you - is for the streets. Gotta go. Is an ex. Shoo. Out. Over.

LASZLO CRAVENSWORTH → Outfit Appreciation

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
4.03 'The Grand Opening'

@ my fellow adults who use tumblr a lot:

can you PLEASE put your age in your about/sidebar and make sure it’s accessible on mobile. imo if you’re an adult esp 20+ it’s a little weird that you wouldn’t have your age readily available on your blog. if you’re reading this now and you don’t have your age listed, please rectify that. i feel like teenagers get lured into talking to adults in fandom/lgbt spaces that they may not have intentionally sought out because they think they’re talking to other teenagers, and this can lead to a lot of other – much more insidious –problems

Can you guys step out of the tumblr “everyone over 20 is inherently predatory and creepy towards children” bubble for once and consider that encouraging people to give up their personal information for the imagined safety of the community is like…not safe?

this advice doesn’t even make sense for multiple reasons; if someone is intent on preying upon minors, all they have to do is follow your advice and lie about their age, being over 20 doesn’t mean you can’t be preyed on yourself, you should never be coerced into giving up your privacy on social media (seriously, did a fed write this?), and promoting the idea that turning 20 means your interactions with younger people should be viewed with suspicion is absolutely harmful, like OP do you have any common sense? At all?

“ignore your own privacy boundaries and discomfort and if you don’t idk 🤔sounds a lil sus 2 me, pedophile” will you guys stop larping as conservative politicians for one second please

think-of-the-children fearmongering is not the same thing as actually protecting minors

You’re talking about - much more insidious - problems while telling people if you don’t do what I tell you, you might be a threat to the safety of our community, like okay Dubya!

Let me tell you about the insidious things that happened when I was young in fandom spaces and older fans became my friends

1. I was taught real sex ed by a midwife, including a lot of pros and cons of various birth control

2. I learned you can just get anything printed into a book and having it in a physical book don’t legitimize something

3. I learned how to enjoy other cultures without making people from those cultures uncomfortable

4. I realized my guardians, while better than my past guardians, were still abusive and what I was experiencing was not healthy, even if distressingly common

5. I learned generosity without ulterior motives actually did exist

6. I learned I don’t have to abandon the things I enjoy as I get older.

7. I was taught ways to treat people differently in deference to their age while still treating them as peers.

(they treated me as an equal, but I was not included in any sexual discussions, for example)

8. I learned that friendships don’t have to be quid pro quo

All of these things super insidious and destructive to the conservative agenda.

Destroying the links between generations is part of how the powerful keep us from forming communities and bettering our lives. Don’t do the masters’ work for them.

So in conclusion fuck no I will not be putting my age in my sidebar.

Bold of them to assume a child of the 90s would ever put their real age in that field anyways.

the year of 2100

streaming companies will say um we're increasing your subscription fee. no password sharing. no screenshots allowed. please subscribe to a separate channel for this movie and another for this tv show. free trial but put in your card details so we can charge you if you forget to cancel. this title is a rental only that's 4.99 please. this title is not available in your region. you are begging people to torrent at this point Like ye are off the edge of the map matey here there be pirates argh argh argh 🦜☠️

I think the Evil Media Bias Against Platonic Relationships is one of those things tumblr loves to get worked up about despite, like. simply not being real.

"men in media are never allowed to have their closest, most meaningful relationship be a platonic friendship with another man!" I'm sorry but I am not convinced that you've ever consumed media

"okay maybe buddy comedies exist or whatever, but this is a problem in fandom spaces--" It's not a "problem" that gay people on the internet like to draw gay kissing. Hope this helps <3

me, shaking the people in the notes by the shoulders: Fandom is an extremely niche subculture. Gay shipping is a niche of that niche. 99% of the population does not engage with it. You do not have to walk into the Gay Romance And Erotica Club and complain about the gay romance and erotica

the people in the notes: I'm being forced at gunpoint actually

This shit is so ugly you fucking idiot

xXx_elonmusk_xXx